Tag: words of encouragement

People often try to comfort me by saying “think of it this way – your trauma made you stronger” or “look at how strong you are now”. I understand the sentiment of trying to help me “see the good” in a terrible situation, but it is extremely invalidating. It also takes the power away from the victim/survivor.

I refuse to credit the men who tried to break me with making me “stronger”. Those contradict each other. I pulled myself out of that hole and was forced to be strong, in order to survive.

When first wading through the aftermath of trauma it can be hard to remember that something traumatic and life-altering happened to you. Again it happened TO you. You did not cause your assault. This is not because of something you said or did. Sometimes that thought can send me spiraling a little – if it wasn’t anything I said or did, how will I be able to stop it in the future?

I am starting a series called “Dear Survivors” that will be posted on Instagram @ TalkingThroughTrauma and cross-posted here.

These little “notes” are a compilation of the things I wish had been said to me when I experienced my first trauma. The intent is to help survivors of trauma and sexual assault feel less alone, less ashamed, and less confused.