Football

I’ve been a Buffalo Bills fan since birth. I was born into the Mafia in the peak of our Super Bowl glory. Growing up, my dad always had the game on and I’d watch it with him, though I never really followed what was happening. As I got older, I got busier and didn’t carve out time to watch the games on Sundays. It’s usually when I was cramming in all my homework that was due the next day that I’d avoided all weekend. Once I moved away from WNY, however, I started watching the games more. It helped fill the void and cure some of the homesickness.

Once COVID hit and my choice of social activities was even more limited, I threw myself into the sport. My passion for it has only been growing season by season. Slowly, but surely, I started learning the rules, the players, the stats, etc.

Football became my escape. It was my safe space. When I was watching a game, I didn’t think about the work I was behind on or having to clean the apartment or the twelve hundred other worries that were always floating around in my head. It was all about the game and the pride I felt in my hometown.

Late last week, however, my safe space was invaded. The team’s rookie punter (the “punt god”) was accused of participating in the gang rape of a 17-year-old at a Halloween party last October. The young woman was handed a drink that she thinks was spiked and then she was led, by the punter, to a room where he and two other teammates of his raped her for over an hour.

If you’ve read “The Second Trauma”, you’ll understand why this story hit so close to home. I was 18 when my drink was spiked and I was led to a stateroom on a cruise ship and raped by one man, while another was waiting for his turn. The magnitude of the assaults is obviously different, but it doesn’t change the impact.

The way the Bills handled the allegations was less than ideal, which only exasperated the situation. The victim’s lawyer alerted the Bills’ legal team to his client’s accusations at the end of July. Management either did their own investigation into the claims and didn’t find enough evidence to act or willfully ignored the issue.

On Monday, August 22nd, they chose to release our veteran punter, which secured the “punt god” a spot on our roster this season.

On Thursday, August 25th, the victim’s lawyer filed her civil suit against the “punt god”. The suit made national news and the Bills were forced to comment on the claims. They said they had done a thorough investigation and had no further comments. That didn’t go over well with fans.

By Friday evening, public pressure to act had become so intense that the Bills opted to keep the punter out of the final preseason game. The press conference after the game was rough. Reporters kept pushing the issue and our coach was running out of responses. He was visibly shaken by the whole ordeal.

When the team didn’t immediately release the punter on Friday, fans were shocked. We have a strong team this year and we can’t afford for the players to be distracted by the allegations. The “punt god” became a distraction to his teammates and marred the team’s public image.

Finally, on Saturday evening after practice, the Bills held a press conference where the coach and GM announced they had released the punter. This was their only option. The media and the public forced their hand. It was the right move, though it would have been more impactful if they had done it before the public outcry. Now, instead, the client’s lawyer is dragging our team through the mud for not acting sooner (perhaps a month ago when they were first alerted to the assault). The lawyer has also pointed out that the team’s “thorough investigation” didn’t include talking to him or his client.

There are a few emotions/thoughts I’m filtering between right now:

• My “safe space” no longer feels safe. At the moment, football makes me think of sexual assault. And I’m not sure how long it will take for my brain to stop associating the two.
• My PTSD is in overdrive. This whole ordeal has been very triggering. And it’s more than just the similarities I mentioned previously. The biggest thing that is triggering me is the notion of entitlement. Similar to veterans/active military, athletes have an air about them. They tend to think they’re untouchable or above the law. That is what is sticking with me. And because I’ve been so triggered, I’ve been afraid to sleep. I’m scared that I’ll have more night terrors.
• I’m proud (and relieved) that the vast majority of the comments in the Bills Mafia groups I follow were in support of releasing the “punt god” from the roster. I’m glad people are starting to put the culture and public image of the team over the desire to win games.
• I’m frustrated that they didn’t release him from the team back in July when they were first informed about the allegations. Actions speak louder than words. They must have known this would be distracting for the other players when it surfaced. And they let it get too close to kickoff.
• I’m disgusted that the punter’s parents released a statement defending their son and saying he lost his job and is receiving death threats and their whole family has been “cancelled”. You are not the victim here.